It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize