id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
