Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
