Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
