I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
