Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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