You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
