it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
