none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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