He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
