idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
