no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
