She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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