I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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