You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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