Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
