so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
