Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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