someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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