Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!

(1-248): View more from Michigan

we need a boat to join in

(248): View more from Michigan

Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva

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(248): The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!! (1-248): we need a boat to join in (248): Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva http://tfl.nu/6n2t

Replies (3) Good night (1343) Bad night (614)
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(516): View more from New York

gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long

(917): View more from New York City

Thats what she said

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(516): gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long (917): Thats what she said http://tfl.nu/ke6j

Replies (13) Good night (2180) Bad night (844)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more

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(703): Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more http://tfl.nu/zuqw

Replies (204) Good night (119121) Bad night (3953)
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(906): View more from Michigan

rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.

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(906): rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice. http://tfl.nu/1neh

Replies (9) Good night (1099) Bad night (3936)
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(281): View more from Texas

i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets

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(281): i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/eja8

Replies (33) Good night (7649) Bad night (795)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.

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(410): I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming. http://tfl.nu/sdt5

Replies (4) Good night (2332) Bad night (911)
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(248): View more from Michigan

The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children

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(248): The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children http://tfl.nu/7xpu

Replies (6) Good night (4519) Bad night (934)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.

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(505): I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover. http://tfl.nu/48qz

Replies (3) Good night (1723) Bad night (601)
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(410): View more from Maryland

The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.

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(410): The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal. http://tfl.nu/fe59

Replies (17) Good night (1001) Bad night (1476)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS

(443): View more from Maryland

I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.

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(609): YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS (443): I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO. http://tfl.nu/tc5m

Replies (16) Good night (3316) Bad night (667)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.

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(724): He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right. http://tfl.nu/6rqx

Replies (7) Good night (698) Bad night (1260)
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(954): View more from Florida

In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?

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(954): In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in? http://tfl.nu/qdxs

Replies (7) Good night (1537) Bad night (527)
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(248): View more from Michigan

spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?

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(248): spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years? http://tfl.nu/coam

Replies (3) Good night (1491) Bad night (483)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?

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(203): He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem? http://tfl.nu/53aj

Replies (10) Good night (455) Bad night (1146)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?

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(757): Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window? http://tfl.nu/40u0

Replies (6) Good night (695) Bad night (337)

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