somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
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The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
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I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.