The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
...so i touched it.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
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There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
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I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?