there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point