Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(912): View more from Georgia

i woke up with socks on this morning

(485): View more from

so?

(912): View more from Georgia

i didnt wear socks last night

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(912): i woke up with socks on this morning (485): so? (912): i didnt wear socks last night http://tfl.nu/lw6k

Replies (5) Good night (1606) Bad night (535)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!

(651): View more from Minnesota

I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends

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(651): my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing! (651): I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends http://tfl.nu/p5go

Replies (5) Good night (784) Bad night (1898)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.

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(617): it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together. http://tfl.nu/iel6

Replies (42) Good night (821) Bad night (3491)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.

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(781): So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger. (603): Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat. http://tfl.nu/6067

Replies (19) Good night (6791) Bad night (1204)
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(317): View more from Indiana

She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended

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(317): She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended http://tfl.nu/jhzt

Replies (14) Good night (1104) Bad night (3256)
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(705): View more from Ontario

Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.

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(705): Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over. http://tfl.nu/0oyy

Replies (5) Good night (2157) Bad night (842)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.

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(307): I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA. http://tfl.nu/w3eq

Replies (5) Good night (1708) Bad night (570)
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(+61): View more from Australia

How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.

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(+61): How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face. http://tfl.nu/d4p2

Replies (8) Good night (802) Bad night (1442)
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(540): View more from Virginia

THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.

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(540): THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW. http://tfl.nu/zij5

Replies (24) Good night (1153) Bad night (624)
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(850): View more from Florida

I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.

(239): View more from Florida

that is the opposite of a normal text message.

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(850): I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult. (239): that is the opposite of a normal text message. http://tfl.nu/cufq

Replies (6) Good night (1754) Bad night (584)
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(703): View more from Virginia

After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.

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(703): After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was. http://tfl.nu/omxm

Replies (1) Good night (1417) Bad night (449)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.

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(+44): I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy. http://tfl.nu/urw4

Replies (4) Good night (611) Bad night (491)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out

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(715): Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out http://tfl.nu/7lpk

Replies (5) Good night (1259) Bad night (365)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

Exactly how many...is TOO many?

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(814): He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it. (1-814): Exactly how many...is TOO many? http://tfl.nu/64i7

Replies (7) Good night (866) Bad night (354)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.

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(541): I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute. http://tfl.nu/w9s1

Replies (1) Good night (701) Bad night (264)

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