No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.