He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
