Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
