Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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