I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
