xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
