My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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