it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
