well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
