Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
