So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I think I sprained my soul last night
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
