i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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