I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
