Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
