Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
