I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
