it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
