in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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