She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you would pick up someone in the library
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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