before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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