It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
