You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize