So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
