How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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