I'm gonna have a badass scar
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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