and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
