This dress was meant to end up on your floor
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
