he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
