i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Too much gin, very little bucket
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
