Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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