The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
