Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
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Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
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I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?