I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
