my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
