Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize