remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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