I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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