How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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