I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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