tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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