haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Howโs the date going?? Do you think heโs gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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