do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize