So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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