So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
